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Pointless Post

Posted on Thursday 30th October 2008 at 00:00
On any given day I sit down at the computer, or pick up my iPod and open the Mail app to check my email accounts. And on virtually each and every occasion I find my inbox stuffed full of the usual things. Adverts for viagra, a Nigerian Prince wishing to give me all his money, a bank telling me that there is a problem with the account I don't even have with them, an angry Ebay user threatening to sue me for the non arrival of the laptop I supposedly sold them. The usual stuff that I'm sure each of you gets as well.

That is OK. I expect to find such stuff. It is only to be expected that antisocial individuals with far too much free time will waste it finding ways to annoy other people. None of the emails should be taken seriously, because even the people who write them never expect to get anything out of it.

What I find slightly more concerning is that other junk mail. You know, the paper kind that someone has to actually take all the way to your letter box. Remember that junk mail? It was the most annoying thing in the world before computers came along and upped the bench mark.

That sort of junk mail isn't from a nobody who still lives with his or her parents. That kind comes from real companies and costs real money to produce. Lots of money, actually. So what confuses me is why these companies seem happy to distribute these leaflets and letters without paying any attention whatsoever?

I ask this because since I've been living here, I've received quite a number of these things that not only aren't applicable to me, but couldn't possibly be applicable to anyone else living in my flat.

The most common of these is, of course, estate agent adverts. I probably get one of these at least once every three days, and not one of them is any good to me because, like every other person living in my building, I rent my flat. And because I rent it, it isn't mine to sell, which means I really don't need an estate agent just now, thank you.

I also don't need my windows replaced. One of the joys of living in an apartment block is that all exterior fixtures are the responsibility of the owner of the whole building, which means even if I did own my flat, I couldn't have my windows changed unless I bought the rest of the building too, and had the whole lot changed. Which I'm not going to do, obv.

For the same reason, no thank you, I don't need you to repair my roof. Or fit a new television aerial to it, though it's very sweet of you to offer.

The stair lift was a good idea, and one that I was actually considering, right up to the point that I remembered I live on the ground floor. I feel quite sorry for the various companies who waste their marketing budget trying to sell myself and my neighbours cheaper gas. If they'd done any research at all, they'd have noticed that the building is electricity only, which means my gas bills are pretty much as low as they are ever likely to go, although if they would like to pay me for the gas I don't receive, I'd be more than happy to consider it.

Perhaps my favourite so far was the catalogue I found on my doormat this afternoon, displaying what it assured me is the best range of electric wheel chairs in the South West. Whilst I don't doubt that the products in question are good quality, I'm perplexed as to why the distributor actually came into the building, noticed the lack of disabled access, looked around and saw that every single person living here is under 30 and no one is disabled, and then decided to leave everyone a catalogue anyway. Talk about a job's worth!

Have you received any junk mail recently that you felt perhaps should have been targeted more precisely at someone else? If so, why not tell me about it in the comments box?

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