Answer Time – Questions 31-40 Of 61

Posted on Sunday 15th July 2007 at 00:00
Oh God, here we go again! That's right, it's part 4 of those really annoying questions that Sally gave me to answer. It has been a few days since Part 3, partly because I couldn't face the prospect of spending another hour of my life on this, and partly because I've been working a lot these last few days, and haven't been left with much time for anything else. Part 1 and Part 2 are a good way of killing ten minutes if you are bored.

31. What are your favourite childhood memories?
I guess like most kids, Christmas was always a favourite time for me when I was young. Presents in the morning, Christmas dinner at lunch and various movies in the afternoon. I think the time when I most appreciated it was in those few golden years when I was old enough to enjoy it, but not so old that I could no longer be surprised by the various decorations on the tree. I still love the day and everything it stands for & greed, gluttony, warm rain, deforestation, landfill etc & but in recent years I've sat on Christmas Eve night, wondering whether it has actually been a year since last Christmas, or whether it's been a week in disguise.

32. What are the different jobs you have had in your life?
Despite working for nearly 48 hours this week, I've never been very fond of work. Quite aside from the awful selection of brain killing tasks available to young people, I've simply never been able to think about the amount one gets paid for a hard day's work without concluding that it is basically slave labour. Why, if I would think twice about stooping to pick up a '5 note off the pavement, am I happy to bend over 20 times an hour for only a fraction more? For this reason I've not had a lot of jobs. When I was 15 I started my first job as a shelf stacker at Waitrose. Amazingly I lasted 10 months, despite being unable to disguise my firmly held beliefs that everyone I worked with was too stupid to actually speak to, never mind take instructions from. It didn't help that the wages were poor, the hours illegal and the possibility of getting time off almost totally nonexistent. I quit shortly after receiving my share of the annual bonus. For the next year I lived off my savings, before training as a life guard and seeking employment at the local pool. I wouldn't say I loved the routine of having to go to work there any more than I did at Waitrose, but the work was fun and I stayed right up until the pool was closed following a flood and vandalism. By the time the pool reopened I'd left for uni and never really thought about going back. I did work again as a life guard, for a couple of months the following summer, but that stopped when uni finished and I returned home for the holidays. That autumn I got a job as a student ambassador with my university, and was occasionally called upon to promote the place during open days and such like. It wasn't until a year later when, having bought a car, I found myself needing regular work again. This was the bar and waiter job that I am still doing today (I had to be in at 7 this morning, which on a Sunday is a very painful thing indeed). I first wrote about this job here.

33. What colour underwear are you wearing?
I have no idea why this question is in here, or why Sally wishes to know, but for the record: black. Moving swiftly on....

34. Nicknames:
I've somehow managed to avoid these for the most part over the years, but at the moment I am called 'Gober? by my housemates, as a result of stupid BT who managed to get my surname wrong on the phone bill, despite me spelling it out to them letter by letter when I set up the account. Incidentally, has anyone else noticed how if you want BT Broadband, you have to apply on the internet, but if you want a phone line installed, you have to ring them?

35. Piercing?
Not whilst I'm a man.

36. Eye colour?
Hazel. This caused me great pain in my French lessons at school, as I had to learn the French for 'sort of greeny brownish? as hazel wasn't in the textbook.

37. Ever been to Africa?
Indeed I have. Only time I've ever left Europe was on a two week trip to Kenya when I was 18. I spent a week teaching in a primary school about 40 clicks inland from Malindi, where I taught a couple of hundred kids how to make friendship bracelets. I'm willing to bet that if any of those kids are still alive, they are treasuring those bracelets right now. On the second week I went on Safari, which was heaps of fun & unlike being made to look at the photos I took, which have so far been responsible for the deaths of three people.

38. Ever been toilet papered?
I....have absolutely no idea what this question is asking me. I hope to God it's not suggesting that my face may have been used to wipe someone's bottom, but with this set of questions you can't be sure. The answer is no anyway.

39. Ever loved someone so much it made you cry?
Yes. I suspect my life would have been very meaningless if I hadn't cried over a woman from time to time. I'm not crying over any right now though, as there currently isn't anyone availableto fill that particular gap in my life. In this respect it feels very similar to being on the waiting list for an NHS dentist.

40. Ever been in a car accident?
Not a proper one no. I did accidentally roll forward into someone at a roundabout the other week because I was too busy looking for a gap from the right, but luckily there was no damage to either vehicle. When I renew my car insurance in a few days, I'll be very glad to state that I have my first whole year of no claims under my belt.

And so that is it for questions 31-40. Luckily though, you won't have to wait long for 41-50, since I've decided to plough on and write them right now, as I don't know if I'll ever be able to summon up the strength to write posts of this nature ever again.

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