Diary Of A Hangover

Posted on Saturday 30th June 2007 at 00:00
At 6:00 this morning I had an idea for a blog post entitled Diary of a Hangover in which I intended to describe in detail the various stages and related sensations that this particular ailment can be broken down into.

Unfortunately though, at the time I was unable to make detailed written notes on the subject, as I was just about to die. When I got up 5 hours later, I was vaguely pleased to learn that I might just pull through, but less pleased to learn that my feverously made mental notes had been lost when a tidal wave of nausea smashed into my brain and scattered the paperwork of my mind all over the office inside my throbbing head.

It's been a fairly delicate day, one way and another. Though I didn't for a second consider staying in bed and feeling sorry for myself, I did have to be rather careful when trying to move/eat/drink/stand up/look at bright lights. All I've actually been able to recall from my original hangover notes is that a crow cawing at around quarter past six sounded louder than if a high speed train had decided to accelerate rapidly whilst parked next to my ear drum. Or maybe in my ear. I think in is most likely.

Either way, it hurt quite a bit, and I was feeling too poorly to even put a pillow over my head and growl. My only saving grace the whole morning was that those Transco Bastards with their sodding pneumatic drill didn't show up again and make more holes in the pavement outside our house, as was their entertainment of choice at 8:30 on Wednesday morning. Wankers.

How can 'Wankers? not be in the Microsoft Word dictionary? Or sodding come to that. Sod is allowed. Wank is not. Most odd.

Around lunch time I decided that fresh air would do me some good. Since I wasn't convinced that I could yet pass a breathalyser test, I decided to walk the 5 miles into town, through the rain. It has always struck me as a most pleasant walk, even if it is rather a long way to go just for a spot of lunch.

Whilst I was in town, I bought myself some indigestion tablets as an experiment. For all my adult life and most of my teenage years, I've suffered from what I now recognise as acid indigestion. It is my theory that part of why I have put on so much weight is that I've been eating masses in order to relieve the symptoms of the condition, even when I haven't actually been hungry. I'm hoping that now I might be able to work on the old portion control, but we shall see.

I've only taken one dose so far, but in fairness I've not been in any pain since. According to the packet, if I take a dose every time I get the acid, I should be on the mend within 7 days. I certainly hope so anyway, as it is a most uncomfortable thing to have every two hours.

The hangover seems to have gone now. Fortunately I've only been left slightly more tired than usual, since my normal regime of antisocial waking hours meant that even though I didn't get in til nearly 3am, I still went to bed at my usual time.

Someone please shoot me.

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