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Potatophobia

Posted on Monday 30th April 2007 at 00:00
The other day I was quite shocked to observe extreme levels of blatant chip homophobia at work. I was given the task of serving a group of law students who'd come in for lunch and were using our service counter. Today's menu allowed them a choice between two types of Panini and either spiral fries or regular chips.

Imagine my disgust when a large number of people asked for 'straight fries?. Since everyone knows that spirals fries beat chunky chips hands down any day, I can only assume that the reason for this request was the result of some perverse dislike of anything hinting of homosexuality.

Oh sure, they never actually referred to the spiral fries as 'bent chips', but I could tell the thought was there. I could see it in their eyes! As if to confirm my suspicions, a small minority chose to ask for 'normal chips', as though suggesting that there is something unnatural about curly fries, in all their camp little twirliness.

I tell you, if I myself was into potato bum love, I'd have been quite offended by their behaviour. As it is, I'm proud to say that I take my potatoes as they come; without prejudice or stereotypes; with ketchup or sour cream; bent or straight, thick or thin, baked or fried!

People of the interweb: love thy potato products, and thou shalt come to love thyself!

Happy Fake-Made-Up-Festival-Called-Potato Day everyone!

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