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Unusual Dread

Posted on Tuesday 27th February 2007 at 00:00
As I was dozing in bed this morning, missing a lecture, I began to slip into a dream ....

I was standing in an office, dressed in a suit with a large desk in front of me, behind which sat an interviewing panel, all donning dull suits and bored expressions.

Oh shit I thought, this is a job interview, I'm screwed.

The man in the middle of the interviewing panel is shuffling some papers, reading through my CV.

'Please sit down, Mr Ignorminious' he says. I comply and wait, breathless for his first question.

'I understand you have a degree from the University of Ignorminious. What classification did you receive?'

Shit! thinketh I. Bugger, fuck, shit, tits, wank!

'Ummmm .... 3rd Class Honours' I murmur.

& I see' says the suit, 'and what was the reason for you only obtaining a third class degree? Why not a second or first?'

Oh dear I think Should I pretend that that was all I was capable of, or should I tell him the truth and admit that I couldn't be bothered to do any work?

'I ... I .... I didn't really put in as much effort as I should have done.'

'Why not?'

'I didn't like the work, III mean I didn't really feel I belonged in education' I stammer. 'I wanted to get out into the real world, not waste time on boring education.'

'I see' he says again, 'And do you think we'd want to employ someone with that sort of attitude to work?'

'No Sir'

'Do you think anyone would want to employ someone with an attitude like that!?' he bellows.

'No Sir' I whimper.

'Too right, now get out!'


Perhaps I need to start putting more effort into my degree again ......

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