Thoughts On Valentine's Day

Posted on Thursday 15th February 2007 at 00:00
Alas I had hoped that Valentine's Day would come and go without me noticing it, let alone writing a whole blog entry on the subject. Sadly nothing else has happened today, and as I alluded to a little while ago, couples do tend to have an awful habit of rubbing days like this one in your face. I did all I could to escape it, what with working for 10 hours and not mentioning the day to anyone I saw, but I guess those with luck on their sides can't leave things alone. Whether it was a parting comment wishing me a 'romantic evening? or a query about how many cards I received, everyone seemed determined to remind me that it wasn't 'just Wednesday', no matter what I'd like to believe.

So in light of this, I'm going to follow in the footsteps of Jim Carrey in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and record my thoughts on this Valentine's Day 2007.

This time last year I didn't bother to record my thoughts, so I can only guess at what they were. I was probably grateful for the few cards I received from friends who were also single, and as with all the years previously, I most likely put on a brave face, hopeful, if not confident, that in a year's time I would have found someone.

Perhaps it is the passing of the years that really sends the message home. So many times I get my hopes up that I may have found someone I like; that a better life is just around the corner, and every time the flicker of hope is quickly extinguished. I'm left wondering, even now, how long one should hold out hope for, even as the elapsed time since my last relationship passes the three and a half year mark.

On occasion I express these feelings to those around me and they do their best to consol me. Responses range from 'You always find love when you least expect it? to 'Perhaps you are just meant to be on your own. Surly it can't be all that bad?? Well yes actually, it is that bad. In fact there a few things worse.

For reasons I cannot even begin to fathom, those people around me who are in relationships seem to view being single as a time of freedom and fun. Clearly their memories of such times really are cack. It is not fun to be single. It is lonely and depressing. It is a hollow, empty existence that drones on and on, seemingly with no obvious conclusion. It is so bad in fact that when people who've experienced it finally escape to a relationship, they are so over come with relief that they go all dizzy and say stupid things like 'It isn't that bad?.

The only people who are more annoying are those ones who stop trying to eat their partner's face just long enough to look over at you, put on a condescending voice and say something along the lines of 'There is more to life than love you know?. No. There. Isn't. I'm sorry, but there really is not. Love is the single greatest human emotion. It is the thing every person alive strives to find before they die. It inspires more art, poetry, music, film and literature than any other feeling that has ever existed. It is more than that. It is the sum total of everything our lives mean and everything we are worth as people. The merest hope of it is the single force that allows us to cope with life on this God-forsaken lump of rock. In short, it is everything we are.

So, next time you feel like telling a lonely person that what they seek isn't really all that great, or that what they need to do is stop looking, please pause for a minute and make the decision to hold your tongue. Whether you believe your own words or not, no one wants to hear such unhelpful sentiments. I'm off now to watch romance films and hope that the world is looking a little happier by the time I get the first smug git or smart-alec comment in my inbox.

P.S I realise that it is slightly past the 14th as I post this. It was all written before the day ended, but server problems led to a delay in the actual posting.

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